ragingrainbow: (Default)
[personal profile] ragingrainbow
Day 7: In your own space, share something non-fannish about yourself. A passion or a hobby or a talent, something that people might not know about you. We are more than just our fandoms.

Hmmm... this was a little difficult because I talk so openly about my life but I think this is something not many people know about: my somewhat secret live for performing arts. 

It started what I was 7, I was a "shy" (read: introverted) child and of course the solution to this was to make sure I took part in some extra-curricular activity. Mom put me into the children's choir (she also put me into judo classes but let's not talk about that cause I hated it... oh hey there's something else people may not know!). Mom has later shared with me that the person in charge had told her she should get me private singing lessons because I had potential? (Forever sad that she did not. :()

But yes, anyway. There were performances of course, and then there were school plays, and little "shy" me fell in love with the stage. I, like many others, I know, was not "shy" on stage. I was an insecure little girl who got to be someone else for a while and it was dazzling and wonderful. :D

I got to try a lot of things during the next couple of years, because mom has always had this idea that me and my sister should get to try everything. There was theatre and dance (including a brief spell of ballet, not for me), I took piano lessons too although that maybe isn't so much stage related. 

When I was about 12 we had an assignment in school to create and act out a play about witchcraft and the persecution of witches (which we had just studied in history). It was so much fun that a group of us decided to set up our own little theatre group for which we created our own plays and got to perform them for the school. It was so much fun, I honestly thought this was what I wanted to be doing for the rest of my life. 

And then when I was 14, we moved abroad. Which I also loved, but the all new environment did make my already festering social anxieties worse. And participating in group activities just became too much.

I have done a few performing arts related things since then and I still love it and I miss being on stage but the social interactions involved in all the work prior to actually getting up on stage are just exhausting to me now. I've just had to accept that so far, at least, I'm not in a place where forcing myself to do it makes anything better. But I guess I still hold out hope that eventually I'll work through it and/or find an outlet for this that I am comfortable with? 

That ended up being a longer ramble than intended. xD But hey, it was something I don't think many people know, at least. ^^ And it felt sort of good to ramble on about it for once. :3 

Either way, that felt a little too sad so let's add in that I have found that it helps a lot to live it through others, so watching plays is awesome as well. :D

Date: 2013-01-07 01:15 pm (UTC)
wattle_neurotic: (Leo - lion)
From: [personal profile] wattle_neurotic
I'm from Snowflake FYI :) I think it's great your Mum decided you and your sister should try a bit of everything, sometimes I wish my mother had been more pushy, alas it may not have helped, we are as stubborn as each other lol

I hear you on the social anxiety thing :( we moved overseas when I was a kid and I just reverted to being totally introverted and have kind of stayed that way ever since, I just can't handle people sometimes. It's funny how things like that happen, I'm sure it has to do with the impressionable age I was removed from my comfort zone.

Do you have a favourite play you like to watch? I think it's great you can still hold on to a bit of it through the consumption of it in other ways, if that makes sense...?

Date: 2013-01-08 01:33 am (UTC)
arsenicjade: (Default)
From: [personal profile] arsenicjade
I was a theatre kid in high school and college, had actually planned on state management as a career. A lot of things happened and I went in a different direction, but I understand the kind of love that you're talking about.

I'm wondering, is there any way for you to make one friend/acquaintance in your local community theatre circle and maybe just see if knowing one person in the group eventually helps you to feel comfortable trying further steps? *hugs* In any case, I hope you find a way to get back what you love.

(Also, totes OT, someone linked me to your aftercare fest, and let me just say: please marry me.)

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