ragingrainbow: (Cat Lol)
Was looking through gay porn clips and found this little ~gem... and I couldn't not share because LMFAO!

Under the cut for NSFW )
ragingrainbow: (Grease Slash?)
During the last week, I have been skimming through gay erotica novels on Google books. I have to say, reading bits of erotic novels by authors who make a living from writing, makes me think that I should maybe consider a career change. For people who missed my Weeping Cock submissions, just check out these excerpts from Erotic Tales of the Knight Templar and Lusty Adventures of the Knossos Prince for examples of the hilariousness I have come across.

This morning, I found one called This Gay Utopia by John Butler. While it didn't really have much hilariously funny porn, it did have lots of theories about straight guys engaging in homosexual activities that I found sort of both amusing and interesting from a fandom POV. Well, in fairness, it is also rather lulsy since it reads more like some sort of scientific study than erotica. So, I thought I'd share! (Any bolded text is my addition.)

ragingrainbow: (Default)
I found this funny, so I thought I'd share. :3 
  1. The text is sprinkled with “creative” euphemisms for the penis, in particular those that call up manly pursuits such as cars, the great outdoors, or weaponry: lust log, love muscle, rod of steel, love gun, etc. Bonus negative points if the adjectives “engorged,” “pulsing,” “throbbing,” or “glistening” appear before such synonyms.
  2. Meanwhile, the feline word for female genitalia that starts with "p" is used exclusively and without restraint.
  3. She’s running her fingers through his waist-length locks.
  4. He has a 13-inch penis (and it’s not Sci-fi erotica).
  5. It’s Sci-fi erotica.
  6. “Come" is spelled with a “u” and no “e.”
  7. You note excessive use of fire imagery, as in: “The candles flickered and the fireplace roared as he stoked the flames of her burning desire with his fireman’s pole until she was so hot and bothered, the fire alarm rang and the sprinklers busted a nut all over their smoldering lust.”
  8. It reminds you to make an appointment with your gynecologist/urologist.
  9. It contains at least one metaphor or simile that tries a little too hard, such as: “His hands roamed like blind rattlesnakes searching for shelter in a dark, moist cave,” or “Her love juice was the finest wine he had ever tasted, the ambrosia of the gods, the center of a Cadbury’s Creme Egg.”
  10. She has an orgasm just from going down on him.
ragingrainbow: (Raja)
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January 2017

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